Family

What does family mean to you? Take a minute to write down your own definition of family. If you compare your definition with others, I'm sure you will find both similarities and differences. For example, would your definition of family include: 

1. A friend or neighbor who is not a blood or legal relative (maybe a close friend who lost their house and all their belongings in a storm).
2. An adopted or foster child. 
3. Children who were once step-siblings after a remarried couple divorces.
4. A married couple (relative or close friend) without children.
5. A relative or close friend who cannot live independently on their own.
6. The spouse of a deceased relative or friend.-
7. A sibling who married outside the family’s religious faith and/or race. 

You might be surprised to learn how others respond to these different family types. In fact, you might be surprised at how you respond. What would be your reasoning for including a particular family type or leaving them out? Defining who is and is not family is foundational to your identity, and has implications on how you live your life.  

My personal definition of "family" includes all of the above. Inclusion of those who need help into my "family", whether or not they are "blood" relatives, has become part of my belief, faith and trust in God.  

Rather than simply defining family by a dictionary definition, each individual should define family by their own standards. Be careful when you look inward at your standards, do not let local society dictate what your standards are. Instead, look inward, deep into your soul, find love, respect, support, forgiveness and understanding, for those are the building blocks of a true family.  

You can have several families in your lifetime, even several families at once if you choose, such as your spouse's family, your "blood" family, work family or family of friends. Regardless of how you define your family unit, whether traditional or unique, your definition is of the family unit should be one that contains the building blocks of “Family”. Whether made up of blood relatives, friends or a combination of these, your family should offer you the love and support you need to thrive. 

Part of navigating life’s many challenges, being welcomed as part of a family is one of our most central needs and a gift we can offer to others. We also take comfort in knowing there is no one way to define family. This knowledge helps us understand and appreciate our families in all their breadth and richness as they develop and change over the course of time. Rather than put up roadblocks, we all have an opportunity to benefit, learn from, and support families among our neighbors, community members, and among our own household and extended family.  

There is no perfect family, we do not have perfect parents, we do not marry a perfect person or we do not have perfect children. We sometimes complain about each other. We sometimes offend one another. We are sometimes disappointed with each other. Yes for so many reasons at various times we find it hard to get along with one another. For these reasons, there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness. Forgiveness is the medicine of family joy and happiness. Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival. No matter the offense or who is the offender. Without forgiveness, the family becomes an arena of conflict and a fortress of evil. Without forgiveness, the family becomes sick and unhealthy. Forgiveness is the healer of the soul, the purification of the spirit and the liberation of the heart.  

No sin is too big to be forgiven. He who does not forgive does not have peace in his soul and can not have communion with God. Unforgiving is Evil and a poison that intoxicates and harms the soul of the one who refuses to forgive. Keeping forgiveness in your heart, mind and soul for your family is a self-healing gesture. Those who do not forgive are physically, emotionally and spiritually ill.  

The family must offer respect love and happiness; not despair. A family brings healing through forgiveness and joy and replaces sorrow. A family gives support, not gossip or slander of one another. Families must offer a feeling of welcome not indifference or rejection. When anyone in a family is going through a challenge they need support of others in that family. 

Family should offer love and acceptance freely with no strings attached. Family to me, is not just a group of people, it includes a collective group of personal attitudes and emotions from the people around me that accept me and my life as it is, with no apologies, no expectations and requiring no changes.

Family is a feeling of belonging, individual beliefs should not be held against each other; actions or in-actions should not be judged; words should not be manipulated or taken out of context. Family should lend a place of peace and happiness and is a reflection of it’s individuals identity's. 

Family is about caring and sharing. Caring that comes from the heart, based on God's love for us and our sharing of that love with those around us. Family is caring and sharing with no expectations, judgments of past or present life experiences or restrictions. 

My concept of Family has been shaped by culture, both my wife's culture and mine, along with our families cultures and experiences. It is people who listen without judgment, retribution or resentment when I reflect on the past; people who do not judge me when I talk about the present; and people who alow me to dream about the future. Family is also something I am willing to share with those who try to understand me and my life without judgment or resentment. 

My concept of Family is rooted in "love your neighbor" as a way of life, not just a commandment we say should be followed. 

My wife and I are under 2 Flags, from 2 Countries, of 2 Cultures, but of 1 Heart. Families should also be of one heart and that heart should be nurtured through love, respect for each other, caring for each other and sharing that love, respect and caring with all those we come in contact with. In my heart, mind and soul, family is not just a group of people, it includes feelings and emotions that are born out of respect, love and caring. 

The Catholic Faith teaches us how to be men, women, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers and children. Our Faith also teaches us that we are ALL brothers and sisters of Jesus. Life would be easy if we all lived in the Garden of Eden without sin. But, we don’t live in the garden, we have to deal with the temptations of our world. Because we do not have the knowledge and strength of Jesus, we fail many of life’s challenges. Maybe we would win more challenges if we called on Jesus sooner and worked closer with our brothers and sisters in Christ.